I’m Divorced, Now What?       Matthew 19:1-12

Context and understanding the background story of what is going on socially or politically is often very helpful when discerning what a text is trying to teach us. In this case, about divorce and remarriage.

Surely, if you look at verse 9, their meaning is plain. “And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her." This is pretty simple, is it not? You got married, then you got divorced, then you got remarried, you are committing adultery. Isn’t that the immediate and obvious meaning here…no, is the short answer…let’s consider these things together.

Whenever you see the words “Scribe” or “Pharisee” in any text in the New Testament – let the reader ‘be aware’. These guys were sticklers for ‘the law’. There is no room for grace. Not one, but a number of Pharisees were questioning Jesus. Remember the reason why John the Baptist was in prison and ultimately beheaded was that he spoke out against the unlawful marriage of Herod taking Herodias his brother Philip’s wife as his own wife. Herod was tetrarch over the area of Perea which was on the eastern side of the Jordan and covered an area from the Sea of Galilee down to the Dead Sea: an area referred to as “beyond the Jordan.” Look where these Pharisees were laying their trap for Jesus because Jesus “went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan” (verse 1), the reasoning being that perhaps Herod would seize Jesus as he did with John. It’s a trap and hence it says, “And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?"” (verse 3) Aside from the danger of speaking against Herod, there was another goal within their questioning:  that is, to get Jesus to contradict or speak out against the law of Moses.

Jesus, of course, will never do that, but He will certainly explain and define the law and put it into its proper context. So, Jesus asked them, “What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away." Note that there is no mention of what Moses said about marriage and the fact that the Lord puts two people together. They went immediately to the legal pre-nup agreement. Where’s the door if we need it? Don’t start marriage with the end of divorce in mind. (Verse 5) “And Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.””

What commandment were Jesus and the Pharisees referring to? The passage comes from Deuteronomy 24:1 which says, “"When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favour in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,…”

This is where a background of the Pharisees and their various groups and how they interpreted this passage needs to be understood. The two main groups were the school of Shammai which says, “A man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her” and the school of Hillel which says “He may divorce her even if she spoiled a dish for one.” One particular Rabbi of the School of Hillel said, “He may divorce her if he finds another woman fairer than her.” We know at the time of Christ, the Pharisees could say, “I divorce you” three times and that was a legal divorce.

But what did Jesus say with respect to divorce and remarriage? He expounded the Law of Moses as well as common law. He said these words, not to the Pharisees but privately to the disciples, from the same passage in Mark 10:10-12: “And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Moses only allowed the men to offer a certificate of divorce, but the Roman law from about 40BC allowed women to divorce their husbands. Jesus addressed both and, as such, allowed understanding within the Gentile believers, not just the Jewish believers.

Look at the words “when you divorce someone.” Your spouse actually receives from you a “Bill of innocence.” This bill of innocence meant that the reason for the divorce did not come from the one who was wronged. The divorce papers in Australia prior to 1975 had a legal reason for the divorce: Eg adultery, unloved, was a drunkard, etc. That bill of innocence was then a testament that could be shown to a new love interest to assure them – hey I wasn’t the party at fault in this divorce – I am innocent. Here is the legal proof, which allowed them to freely remarry.

Before “no fault” divorce, these grounds could include adultery, desertion, cruelty, habitual drunkenness, imprisonment or insanity. You also had to have proof – keep in mind that there were no mobile phones then either. It was a fault-based divorce. The Australian Government led by the Australian Prime Minister at the time, Gough Whitlam, enacted the Family Law Act in 1975. The most significant change introduced was the “no-fault” divorce. A spouse simply had to show that their relationship had irretrievably broken down.

Did Jesus allow divorce – yes. He said in Matthew 19:1-12 that it is permissible, if adultery had been committed and then went on to expand on that by speaking about ‘eunuchs for the kingdom.”

Does God still allow divorce – yes and in some cases, dare I say it, it is necessary for the ongoing physical and psychological safety and welfare of certain parties – generally women and children, but not always. But while God allows it, He hates it. Malachi 2:13-16. But the Lord is wanting reconciliation between ourselves and others, especially our spouse. This is why Paul said that a believing woman who divorces should “remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) If she repents of the divorce, the true fruits of that repentance would be to seek reconciliation with her former husband. (Matthew 5:23-24) The same is true for a man who divorces unbiblically. (1 Corinthains 7:11)

Some of us here have gone through the agony and pain of divorce. You started out thinking your marriage would last forever, indeed you vowed that it would be so. But things went horribly wrong, this is not what you signed up for. I want to encourage you this morning with these words that “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1) and the words of the Prophet Joel are true for you. (Joel 2:24ff) “"Be glad, O children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given the early rain for your vindication; he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the latter rain, as before.” The best days are ahead for you; that’s the promise.

The promise is that He will grant you “the desires of your heart as you delight in Him.” (Psalm 37:4) For those who are single, make sure your first love is the Lord, and that your second love loves your first love the same as you do.

A comfort to those who have been through the pain of divorce: God has been divorced. ““I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries.” (Jeremiah 3:8)

Others may be unfaithful, but Christ is always faithful to His bride, the church. Best husband ever! (Revelation 21:1-4)