Discerning When and How to Act Proverbs 15
There are 4 you’s: the person you are in public, the person you are with your family, the person you are with your closest friends, and the person you are when you are alone. Depending on how widely those vary, they can very much be lives of contrast; to the point where some may blame you of being schizophrenic if the changes are very pronounced when they see you in 2 or more of those settings.
This is what we have here – Solomon was contrasting behaviours and character traits. You may have noticed he listed the positive first then the negative Eg – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly.” (Verses 1, 2) The question is; do we follow just the positive traits listed, or the negative ones? Or is there, as I suspect is the case for most people, a combination of the 2 depending on heart attitude, hormones, situation, genetics, life experience, maturity. All play a factor.
Having said that. We all have breaking points, where we know we should be self-controlled. We know the right things to do or say in our heads and even hearts, but circumstances, pressure, health, tiredness, relational stress can combine in the right circumstances and then it happens; we say something completely inappropriate; we do something embarrassing; we act out of character. While the scriptures speak a lot about that and significantly in the Proverbs, what we have here is something a little different.
Solomon was writing about the character, not the immediate situation that a person is going through. Solomon wasn’t speaking about an out of character word or action which we all have at times. In this chapter, He was speaking about a character that gives us the discernment of how and when to act in life generally that does affect our words and actions immediately as a principle. And he compared and contrasted 2 characters who are at opposite ends. This is seen right through the book of Proverbs.
Last week, we spoke of there only being 2 groups of people on earth: those who know their Lord and Saviour and those who don’t. There is no purgatory, no waiting room, no place where you are in a holding pattern after death about to drop into Heaven or Hell depending on who is praying for you here on Earth. The scriptures are silent on that. And we quoted our Lord, “You are either for me or against me.” We see the same here – two groups.
So, let’s just do a real quick character assessment here, just with the verses that relate to everyone. (Verses 1, 4, 18, 26) Are you considered in your words, or do you fly off at the handle? I.E Are you known to lose your temper. (Verses 2,7) When you speak in general terms, do others know you to have considered thought? Does your conversation promote Christ centred wisdom or as it says here “pour out folly,” just stupid comments? (Verses 5, 14) Are you teachable? Or do you like to always be right and argue the point even when your point has very little basis in fact or logic?
How are your finances? (Verse 6) If you honour the Lord – they are fine – regardless of the outward circumstances.
What or who do you trust in? (Verses 8, 9, 29) What do you devote your money and time to? These are sacrifices. To the wicked, praying is a waste of time; but to the righteous, prayer works and is acceptable to God and is blessed by Him.
Are you constantly getting bad breaks in life? Not a once off, this is a pattern of tough luck. I want to qualify, but this is a general principle. (verses 10, 12, 21) Christians are disciplined by the Lord for foolish decisions. The ultimate is rejecting God – leads to death, “whoever hates reproof will die.”
Why is this important? Solomon, in the chapter, made it plain in verse 11; “Sheol and Abaddon lie open before the LORD; how much more the hearts of the children of man!” Sheol is another name for Hell and Abaddon is destruction. Hell and destruction are before the Lord. Verse 24 is the counter position.
How are your joy levels? Are you known as a joyful person, or sombre and serious? We know joy levels control endorphins which are healthy. (Verse 13, 15) Health to the body.
How contented are you in life? (verses 16, 17, 27, 30) Or is your life a show? Like those tombs Jesus spoke about; white and clean on the outside, but inside is a dead, rotten man.
Are you lazy or industrious? (Verse 19) This is reap/sow law according to Solomon.
Do people seek your counsel? (verse 23, 28) You certainly know when you receive it.
Do you honour what God does? (Verse 25) Looking after those who cannot fend for themselves.
Are you open to counsel, reason and people speaking into your life? (verses 22, 31-33)
Of course, all of these points make sense and most here are affirming them, but remember I suggested that there are 4 you’s 1. The person in public 2. The person with family 3. The person with closest friends 4. The person when you are alone. I want to focus on the person you are when you are alone because that is the true you. You do your own thing, ponder your own thoughts, listen to your own music, watch your own video/movies, play your own games, read your books. Who are you there? Because that ultimately is the true you.
Anyone else can be a fake you, an act, but when you are alone it’s the true you.
Question? Are you happy with that person? Because that’s the one you are in truth. Just assess this person for a minute. In the light of some of these character traits that Solomon listed out this morning, where does the real you stand? The reason I ask is that only you (I.E by yourself) after this life will be confronted with this reality. “So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” (2 Corinthians 5:9, 10) And again, “it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment.” (Hebrews 9:27)
This final truth is the one that needs to seep deep into the core of our being, because it’s on an individual level that the scriptures are applied – it’s all personal. Solomon in our passage said, “Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.” (verse 32)
And the ultimate instruction in summing up his conclusion is this, “The fear of the LORD is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honour.” (Proverbs 15:33) Solomon was good at summarising in this way to bring everything into sharp focus. He finished his book of Ecclesiastes with this: “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” The secret thing is you by yourself with only God watching. (Ecclesiastes 12:13, 14)
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Title was “Discerning how and when to act” – Reading Proverbs 15
1. This chapter has contrasts; the good is listed first, then the bad. We have all said and done negative things, but Solomon was speaking about character. How would others describe you? How would you describe yourself?
2. Do you have multiple “you” personalities? Do you change depending on the situation? Discuss the 4 “you’s” that Jay spoke about on Sunday:
You in public
You with family
You with close friends and
You alone.