What Did You Say?! Proverbs 26:17-28
When was the last time that you said something that as soon as the words left your mouth, you instantly regretted saying them? I don’t think there is anyone who hasn’t had that experience at least once. Generally, they are memorable occasions for all the wrong reasons. Words matter, don’t they? This is where it is important to keep short accounts where we have missed the mark.
Solomon, in these 12 verses, gives us some good insight into what bad communication looks like.
An angry dog (verse 17) We walk our dogs at the local water tower – all dogs are off the lead and so generally the dogs that people are walking are friendly and can socialise quite well with the other dogs. These dogs are quite well behaved and generally love a good pat. The passing dog Solomon was referring to is one of the common street dogs that would eat scraps that they found. They weren’t owned by anyone, just semi social to get whatever scraps they could that people would leave behind. Solomon was saying that when we get involved in an argument which we are not a party to, it is like grabbing one of these semi-feral dogs in the street and twisting its ears while it is busy looking for food scraps. You can imagine the outcome: instant regret with a nasty bite in the least. 2 angry people are not in any mood to hear your reasoning, even if you are right. While some subjects being discussed cause us immediate interest to be involved, it is never wise to jump in mid-stream. Jesus gave a good answer when He was asked to get involved in a discussion from a random person in the crowd in Luke 12:13, 14. “Someone in the crowd said to him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me." But he said to him, "Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?" I’m not getting involved - even though Jesus is actually the Judge over all. I would say this about debating things online – just don’t do it. It is such a bad forum to promote any reasonable discussion, so much communication is missed with mere text.
Only joking (verses 18, 19) Have you ever had someone close to you who was just over the top; said something, did something inappropriate, couldn’t or didn’t read the room and what they said was highly offensive? Then rather than be repentant when it was pointed out, just said – it was only a joke. Solomon said here that such a person is like one that is armed up to the teeth - throws firebrands, arrows, and death. Even worse when they are literally over the fence – a neighbour. Fence wars - better off moving.
Put the fire out (verses 20, 21) A fire needs fuel. Division needs a gossip. “The gossiper and the hearer are the agents of discord. If no-one received the slander in the first instance, it could not be propagated. Hence our proverb, ‘The receiver is as bad as the thief.’ Our laws treat them equally; for the receiver of stolen goods, knowing them to be stolen, is guilty, as well as he who stole them.” (Clarke – paraphrased).
Pleasure and pain (verse 22) “The words of a gossip [talebearer] in an unguarded moment may inflict irreparable injury. This evil may be welcomed in certain circles that thrive on scandal. But that does not alter the real character of a gossip, who is detested by both God and man.” (Bridges). They go down into the inmost body: when we receive the words of a talebearer, they normally have an effect on us. The words go down into us and often change the way we think and feel about people, even if what the talebearer says isn’t true or isn’t confirmed. God gave a strong word regarding the confirmation of testimony (Deuteronomy 19:15, 2 Corinthians 13:1, 1 Timothy 5:19). Once we start eating these tasty trifles, it is hard to stop. “When such tasty bits are taken into the innermost being, they stimulate the desire for more.” (Ross). The trouble is that our flesh can like hearing gossip. As this proverb says, the words of a gossip are like tasty trifles; they go down to the inmost body. They may have an initial sweetness, but they are poison both for you and the one spreading the gossip.
Beauty is only skin deep (verses 23-26) There are people who are able to speak with power and persuasion, but they have a wicked heart. The ill effect of their wicked heart is made much more effective because of their fervent words. Adolf Hitler is an excellent example from history; a very persuasive, passionate, evil man. This is an example of something that looks superficially good with a silver veneer, but it is worthless earthenware on the inside. “Because of its silvery gloss, this slag was used as a glaze for ceramics.” (Waltke). So, the man mentioned in the first line may attract people superficially, but inside he is worthless. It says such people only deceive themselves. “Maybe I am made of pure silver.” No, you are fragile, worthless clay. These people flatter – they flatter themselves so they are happy to flatter others. Anyone of any moral worth can’t stand to be in the presence of such people. It’s like a hell on earth to do so.
Just keep digging (verse 27) You reap what you sow. Anyone plotting and planning the downfall of someone else is doomed themselves. “For samples consider Haman (Esther 7:10) and Daniel’s enemies (Daniel 6:24-28).” “Cardinal Benno relates a memorable story of Pope Hildebrand, or Gregory VII, that he hired a base fellow to lay a great stone upon a beam in the church where Henry IV, the emperor, used to pray, and so to lay it that it might fall as from the top of the church upon the emperor’s head, and kill him. But while this wretch was attempting to do it, the stone, with its weight, drew him down, and falling upon him, dashed him in pieces upon the pavement.” (Trapp). On a world scale I see this happening with Vladimir Putin, I don’t believe he is long for this world. But even if he is, the pit is getting deeper for his fall. The stone he has started rolling is already rolling back on himself. We mentioned Hitler before; the same was true. Wicked people don’t thrive. You might say, well clearly, they do. They may have wealth and security, but only for a season. These people don’t have peace within themselves; Vladimir Putin is paranoid about being poisoned or some close associate doing him in. But secondly, they don’t have peace in eternity. Psalm 73 has some good thoughts on this.
Liar, liar, pants on fire (verse 28) Do you know anyone who might be termed a pathological liar? They can’t help themselves. Like the Meghan Trainor song, “I know your lyin’ cause your lips are movin’.”
Yes, we can say things without thinking and have instant regret. Maybe you have had some of the traits that have been described here. If that’s you and you didn’t deal with it at the time but just let it go, now is the time to heal the bridges. On rare occasions, you may find the other person doesn’t recall it or they didn’t take it to heart. But the reality is, in all likelihood they do recall it and did take it to heart. If that’s the case, here is an opportunity to show that Christ (and not the world) has in fact got your heart. Jesus has restored us back to the Father through the cross. Part of our witness is restoring ourselves back to others if we have said or done something that has been hurtful or offensive.
But the most important relationship to restore, if you haven’t done it already, is to be restored to the God and Judge of all the earth – the Lord Jesus Christ. Do that now.