Sex and other relationships      1 Corinthians 6:12-20

References - Song of Solomon 4 – 5:2; 1Corinthians 7; Romans 1

This topic is needful for the church, because there is such a constant push from what we watch on our devices, media, online that God’s message can get crowded out. Romans 1:24-28. But also, because God created sex: not the world, not the media: God – to be enjoyed. Sex should be discussed in proportion to the value God puts on it, especially as it relates to maintaining Godly relationships within marriage. Ultimately, our relationship as a husband and a wife reflects our relationship with Christ and His bride, the church. (Ephesians 5:22-32)

Fornication/Adultery – the scriptures are very explicit. “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral (fornication), nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revellers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6) “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” (Hebrews 13:4)

Sex, between and man and a woman, is blessed by God within the boundary of marriage.

With respect to sex, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 is our platform, but there are a number of other passages that will be addressed. Song of Solomon 4:1-5:1 – The most intimate part of this sanctioned relationship between this man and his bride concludes with the intimacy and beauty of sexual union. She is described as being a garden which is locked (Ch 4:12). She only desires and allows her beloved into this place. This is not a try-before-you-buy situation. Virginity is a choice gift to give to a new husband or wife, but not always achieved in a fallen world; thank God that in Christ He sees us as virgins spiritually before Him, if we have repented of sin and believe in Christ as Saviour.

She is a locked garden but desires and allows him into her garden (Ch 5:1) – beautiful, enjoyable, God honouring sexual union.

Note - She is in his thoughts before he is in her garden! He calls her his garden and said, “Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow.” (Verse 16a) And she said, “Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.” (verse 16b) He partook of his garden which is her garden’s delights. (verse 5:1) They are both encouraged by their friends (the others), as we should encourage each other, (verse 5b) Eat, drink, be distracted, with love. Sex, as given by God, is one of the greatest earthly pleasures anyone can have. Both husband and wife should enjoy it. Note in 1 Corinthians 6 and Song of Solomon it is about sex being enjoyed; no children are mentioned.

What stops this being the case? 1. Selfish sex. Generally, it happens when the husband wants it but the wife does not. She has given of herself all day, kids, house, job and the husband is the last one standing in line. Pleasurable sex for the woman, as outlined in Song of Solomon 4-5, begins with security, understanding and tenderness in the relationship by the husband. 2. Mind on the task. The husband’s focus is on her, not on himself, his immediate desires or work. Leave work at work; don’t bring it home; you are not paid for those hours.

What sex within marriage is appropriate? Why were Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed? Because Males were sexually active with other males. This is where we get the word Sodomy from. God judged them for their homosexuality. Yes. But there is more to it. Ezekiel 16:49, 50: “Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them, when I saw it.” A life of opulence and ease made them selfish and pleasure seeking; every bit the same as how we live in Australia in 2024.

But what about sodomy within marriage? Is Sodomy or anal sex within marriage sanctioned by God? Romans 1:26 1. Natural relations with a woman 2. The unnatural act of the man; not just men with men, but the act. Leviticus 18:22: you shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. Purity is the key word here. Remember Hebrews 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.” Sexual relations within marriage are to be pure.

What about oral sex? Some say Song of Solomon speaks of it; I don’t believe so. “As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.” (Song of Solomon 2:3) Before marriage as well which is             S 4. Song of Solomon 7:7-10: Passionate embracing and kissing; yes. Oral sex is not described. But…

If both parties can’t enjoy it, don’t do it. (1 Corinthians 7:4) “For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” So Oral sex; maybe, by mutual consent. Nothing in scripture forbids. Use this text as a guideline.

What about Sex during menstruation? Leviticus 15:19-24 & 20:18 – again Purity is the issue. Nothing in the New Testament, however Paul exhorts a time to not engage in sex (1 Corinthians 7:3-5): prayer, contemplation, devotion to God; why not within these few days during menstruation?

What about masturbation? The key here, as we noted earlier, is purity – holiness.

If we are to be pure – we must maintain purity in our thought life. (Philippians 4:8) Whatever is pure, whatever is noble...etc, meditate on these things. If you believe you can keep the integrity of this text and still masturbate, I’d like to talk to you afterwards. (1 Thessalonians 4:4) “that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honour not in the passion of lust like the world who do not know God.”

What if your spouse is ill or you are on an extended time away from home? You have many legitimate thoughts about your spouse. Is it OK to masturbate in this situation? I believe the answer to this question is found in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, which we considered earlier. Segun – 2 1/2yrs no masturbation.

It isn’t sex on demand, but by mutual agreement, for a period of time. E.g. When you are away for work purposes, or an illness.

Where to from here? How should we respond to some of this?

Acknowledge God’s gift – Sex, as we have seen, is to be enjoyed, not just for procreation – it’s a gift from God – Song of Solomon - within marriage. Teaching opportunity to our children, grandchildren – new people that come into the church. This stuff isn’t talked about in most churches. Sexual sin is rampant in society and generally hidden in the church. This is why Jesus went to the Cross – heal us from the pain that sin brings – including sexual sin – the pain of having done to us or perhaps by us. Come to the cross.